I took a quiz online today titled “How Dateable Are You Actually”. For starters, I am not sure that “dateable” is an actual word, but I’ll digress from that side-note. The results: You’re a total catch. I gave my computer the side eye for a second. It went on to give me details of just how much of a catch I am:
“Grade A dating material. The epitome of #relationshipgoals. The total package from head to toe. Like, are you even human? You are THAT perfect.”
I call Bullshit.
In fact, I have never asked myself that question. How date-able am I? What even determines your date-ability? Your personality? Your outer appearance? Does your credit score play a role? Maturity level? Age? Family history? Sex habits? Traits and characteristics? There are literally hundreds of factors that could go into attempting to figure this out! And quite frankly, my mind cannot handle all of the possibilities. Instead, I decided to compile a list of the things that I look for in a woman, therefore determining the things that I portray to other women, that I would count as date-ability.
-Stable career or progressive career goals. I don’t need a millionaire, but I do want you to know what you want to do professionally and be working towards that if you are not already there.
-Family oriented and wants a family of their own. I am very close to my family, and not wanting children is a deal breaker for me. I want someone who wants to be the mother of my children and vice versa. Having a family of my own is extremely important to me.
-A level of attractiveness. This is not purely physical. This includes your personality as well. No matter how shallow it may seem, there has to be something that initially attracts me to you. If it happens to be your drop dead gorgeous smile and amazing legs in heels, so be it!
-Some form of formal education. I find intellect very attractive. I like to know that you took time to equip yourself with as much knowledge as you could.
-A drive to succeed/betterment of life. I do not want to settle, so I don’t want a partner who wants to settle. We can always improve ourselves and our lifestyles.
-Sex drive. I want my partner to want me and to show me that they want me. Period.
-Respectful & empathetic. You have to respect me. In every situation, no matter what we have going on, you have to maintain that level of respect. Empathy is also a big one. Do not make me feel like my feelings don’t matter or are dismissive. They are just as valid as yours.
-Belief in an all-powerful God. I am not looking for a holy roller, but I firmly believe in Jesus Christ and His word. If you can’t pray with me and over me, then you are not for me.
-Emotional stability/Even tempered. This counts out all the crazies! Like the real crazies! The truth is you are going to get angry with me. Anger is a common emotion. At some point I will get jealous of something or someone. Jealousy is even more common. We are not always going to be at 100%. But if I know you are not going to go postal, I can handle the emotions.
-Ability to love unconditionally. This. Is. huge. Merriam-Webster defines unconditional as not limited; without any special expectations; absolute. Love is defined as a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person; the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration. I am going to piss you off. I am going to get on your nerves. I am going to neglect you. I am going to take you for granted. These are natural actions as human beings. It is not intentional. It is not to hurt you. It just is a part of the relationship cycle. I need you to love me past this, definitively, definitionally, and biblically. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love is an action, not an emotion, though it has the capability of producing emotion. And I love big.
Ask yourselves, How Date-able Are You? And ask this question to yourselves when evaluating your love interests.