What a transformation my life has been over the past couple of months! Eye opening, sorrowful, joyful, difficult, so many different things all at the same time!
But one thing I began to discover is that I was still holding a grudge against myself for past mistakes. I didn’t even know it was possible to hold a grudge against oneself! It is. And I was becoming my own worse enemy.
Have you ever looked at people, friends, acquaintances, what have you, and known that they were judging you? You know that they can’t see pass the things you once use to be and do. You know that they run their mouths about things they really know nothing about. You know they want to be in the middle of a situation that has absolutely nothing to do with them, to fan the flame, to spread the gossip. Slide a mirror in front of those people and dare them to throw a stone at it.
You see we have all sinned. God said so himself. Since the beginning of time it has been wired in man to sin. And because you appear to have your life together in the midst of my storm doesn’t make you better than me. Because I remember your storm, your hurricane if you will. So don’t be so quick to look down on me. Because someone was once looking at you from that same angle. It is amazing to me how we go through the same trials as others. They want our comfort and our compassion and our forgiveness. But when you turn the tables they want to offer nothing. Not that I need it or have asked for it, but thank you for offering it…not.
I use to be a lot of things. A womanizer. Selfish. Stubborn. Intolerable at times. Stuck up. Conceited. Irrational. But please, allow me to reintroduce myself. Because if you don’t know who I am right now, you don’t know me. That person you once knew has died. And like 2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.”
I am no holy roller. I still enjoy the secular pleasures of this world. But I know better now. I do better now. I am better now. So please, don’t act like you know me. You knew me. And there is a difference. Continue your progress. And continue to live boldly and authentically.
“Take pleasure in your newness and stop allowing the naysayers to cause you to hold a grudge against yourself. Some of you don’t know me. You knew me.” -STW