Wrestling Doubt

I have a lot of big decisions that I have been attempting to make. And when I feel bogged down by too much thinking, I tend to just not think at all; not deal, not do anything, just let whatever it is sit. I once thought that this was a way to calm my mind and free up my mental energy, but lately I have learned that it actually pushes these matters to the back of the line and causes me to lose the fire that I once put behind them. The main cause of this, I have learned, is doubt.

doubt

Whenever I begin to overthink, or feel like I am not making progress with something, like the situation is just too much to handle, I begin to doubt it and ultimately just push it out of my mind, out of my sight, out of my grasp. And this action is very intentional. Because I would rather just leave things be than to sort through the what-if’s, even if the what-if’s are good and positive. I tend to feel overwhelmed when things aren’t immediate and when I feel as though I have little to no control over a situation, anxiety amps way up. And this is all caused by doubt.

How powerful this emotion or feeling is! It is literally the halfway point between belief and disbelief, mentally putting yourself in between two minds. That makes my head hurt to even think about! Yet, I doubt so often and so hard. There are so many verses in the Bible that speak on doubt, endless verses.

Matthew 14:31 states “ And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Mark 4:40 says “Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

Be merciful to those who doubt;” is written in Jude 1:22.

So why is doubt such a prevalent thing? Because doubt is a human thing. God did not instill this feeling in us, we formed this ourselves. But the great thing about mercy is that God can help us tackle this feeling.

I want to live a BIG life! One full of excitement and chances and no regrets, but that is practically impossible with the amount of doubt that I carry with me daily. I pray to God for the things that I desire, then I doubt that He will come through for me. That’s like ordering dinner at a restaurant then going to the kitchen to make it yourself because you don’t trust that they can do it. It makes no sense.

I pray away doubt over your lives today and mine, so that we may live in the full abundance that was created for us to enjoy! I want to allow God to come through for me.

“I do not expect miracles, because I often doubt that they are possible. So what do I expect, if anything at all?” -STW

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